Couples often approach therapy with a degree of nervousness. It helps to focus on the tangible benefits gained in the process of working with an experienced couples therapist. Reasons 3 and 8 may well surprise you.

This article was written by experienced couples therapist Chris Langer. Please note: No part of this article was created with AI, all words are the author’s own.

1. Doing relationship therapy shows you care

   
   

Effective conflict resolution isn’t something we typically learn at school, college or university. But you can build these skills in therapy.

If something doesn’t feel right in your relationship - whether that be strained communication, persistent misunderstandings, or arguments that go round in circles without resolution - it actually shows you care by arranging to speak to a relationship specialist.

Reaching out for help in this way is also an acknowledgment that your relationship deserves the support it requires to thrive. Why let things drift into long-term unhappiness?

When you start to notice things aren’t going well, a genuine desire to improve the relationship avoids a frequently encountered situation further down the line - when partners begin to emotionally ‘check out’. This can be reversed, but early intervention massively improves the chances of success.

2. It’s an investment in your future together

If you make a commitment to be together for the long-term, it pays dividends to ensure you are both equipped with the psychological tools for discussing your feelings and resolving conflict.

The goal here is not to avoid conflict at any cost. A common misconception is that a lack of conflict is a positive sign - it really isn’t!

Spending your days and life together will inevitably surface personal differences. But these can be managed, with a tolerance and understanding of difference nurtured.

Effective conflict resolution isn’t something we typically learn at school, college or university. It can be taught in a therapeutic setting with willing partners, however.

Doing the work with each other to last the distance is always an investment worth making.

3. It will stop you from getting stuck in a rut - and help turn things around

Continually repeating unhelpful patterns of behaviour is distressing for everyone. The more this continues, the more it fuels a cycle of resentment and despair. When you’re enmeshed in these patterns, you can’t necessarily see the wood for the trees.

A relationship therapist, or couples counsellor, will help you become aware of these patterns in real time. With the right support and feedback, you’ll be able to spot unhelpful patterns and stop them from damaging your relationship. You’ll be able to break through entrenched patterns of defensiveness and reactivity.

4. It will improve communication

Every couple communicates in some shape or form. Even silence is a kind of communication. But not every couple knows intuitively how to communicate in ways which build confidence and trust.

This is where feedback from a fully trained, experienced relationship therapist is invaluable. They will be able to quickly spot where communication is failing to build connection, and redirect your attention to more productive conversations.

Reinforcing those more positive interactions is the key to establishing healthy, trust building communications for the long-term.

5. It will help you understand each other at a deeper level

Close relationships with our partners are where we truly show up. All our strengths, talents - and weaknesses - come to the surface in everyday life. This provides an opportunity for our potential to be fully realised, and for healing and personal growth to take place.

But along the road to achieving a joyful existence together, there are obviously stresses and emotional triggers. These are part of life and are often embedded in our own backgrounds and experiences. What we learn about how we handle challenging situations together is critical for relationship success.

That success is dependent on a deeper understanding of our own reactions to situations, and each other’s. There will naturally be some interplay between both sets of reactions. We may become upset by our partner’s behaviour - or, of course, they may be upset by our own behaviour.

However, if we gain a greater understanding of what causes us distress, and show empathy to our partners in their distress, we grow together in the process. Old psychological wounds may be surfaced in moments of vulnerability, but the good news is that they can also be healed in therapy.

6. It teaches you new skills

I’m always amazed at the difference new skills can make to a close relationship. And it often ripples out to other important relationships.

Couples often report back that not only can they resolve conflict far more effectively between themselves, but that it also has a positive ‘knock on’ effect on, for example, their children. The very same skills that help disperse hidden tensions in their primary relationship are positively exploited in relationships with others too, in the home, and even in the workplace.

No doubt, the increased empathy partners learn to show each other is extended into the wider social sphere.

7. It gets results quicker than you might think

Many people are a little apprehensive when they start couples therapy. They may anticipate that things will take a long time to turn around.

It’s true that old habits can take a little time to replace with healthier ones. But it’s also true that with a small commitment to do something different each week, it may only be a few weeks before there is a tangible, difference felt by partners.

This is often felt in all aspects of the relationship, from emotional right through to physical intimacy. New, healthy habits can build cumulatively in a relatively short space of time.

Couples therapy at Good Relationships is not intended to be undertaken over years. For reference, although it can vary, most couples will have in the range of 6-14 sessions.

The results begin to show up quicker than many expect them to. The changes for the better made are often permanent too.

8. It will supercharge your achievements

Doing couples work creates the room for joy to return. Once the tensions are resolved, there is far more room to enjoy life with each other again.

If you’re living a happy, satisfying life together, there is then a far greater chance you’ll reach the goals you both have. That works on two fronts.

The goals you have together will become revitalised and feel easier to achieve. Any personal goals you have are also far more likely to be reached.

Conflict and tension hold us back. Releasing the energy for a different, more meaningful purpose creates a whole new mindset for achieving what you both want in life.

Why wait? Have that conversation with your partner. Book a session.