Trust, Communication & Connection
goodrelationships.co.uk
Marriage & Couples Counselling | Individual Counselling | Relationship Expert
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some of the most commonly asked questions about marriage and couples counselling:
1. What are the chances of saving my relationship in marriage counselling?
2. Should I go for a trained, specialist marriage counsellor?
3. How is marriage or couples counselling different from individual counselling?
4. How long will it take to see results in marriage counselling?
5. Does marriage counselling need to be face-to-face to work?
6. Can I start marriage counselling immediately with Good Relationships?
8. Should we have weekly sessions or every two weeks?
9. Is it possible to recover after an affair?
10. What areas will we work on in marriage counselling?
11. What skills will we learn in marriage counselling?
12. Should I go for the eight-week programme you offer or work on an open-ended basis?
14. What do people say about their experience of marriage counselling?
15. Is there some kind of ‘onboarding’ process before the very first session?
16. My partner isn’t as keen as me about couples counselling. What should I do?
1. What are the chances of saving my relationship in marriage counselling?
The chances of success are very high if both partners put a reasonable amount of effort in. Research studies suggest that with the right approach a success rate of between 70 and 90 per cent can be expected.
See also ‘Does marriage counselling work?’
2. Should I go for a trained, specialist marriage counsellor?
Yes. Marriage counselling is a special area of expertise and requires special counsellor training for effective results. Just as you would see a specialist doctor for a particular medical issue, it’s hugely preferable to speak to a marriage or relationship specialist if it’s about a relationship.
Don’t chance it with a cheaper option - it may well prove counterproductive.
3. How is marriage or couples counselling different from individual counselling?
The dynamics are very different because there are two interacting partners in the room. Understanding and observing the interaction between partners is often key to resolving differences. This is almost impossible to do if one of the partners isn’t physically present in the room, such as would be the case in individual counselling.
4. How long will it take to see results in marriage counselling?
Many clients feel a positive difference from the very first session because the dialogue immediately helps. A skilled marriage counsellor will explain how to stop the arguments with some effective emotional regulation.
In terms of making changes to develop much healthier habits, this can take longer. It naturally depends on the situation, but 6-12 sessions is reasonable to assume in most cases.
5. Does marriage counselling need to be face-to-face to work?
Online marriage counselling is just as effective if circumstances allow, but for some it’s a matter of preference. Some couples will use a mixture of face-to-face and online counselling. Regular attendance is likely to be more important than the mode of delivery.
6. Can I start marriage counselling immediately with Good Relationships?
Yes. In the vast majority of cases, it can start within a week. If a relationship is in distress it makes sense to talk it through as soon as possible. This helps avoid any rash, poorly thought through decisions and brings relief.
7. I’ve tried individual counselling for my relationship issues, but it didn’t work. Should I still try marriage counselling?
Yes, definitely. Individual counselling only allows for the hearing of one person’s perspective. Marriage counselling considers what both partners feel and need. Skills to resolve distress are learned together.
8. Should we have weekly sessions or every two weeks?
Many couples start with weekly sessions, then reduce it to every two weeks as things improve. If both partners can stay focused, however, every two weeks can work fine.
9. Is it possible to recover after an affair?
Yes, but because there is often a deep sense of hurt to work with, the process can take longer. With perseverance, the results are usually just as good provided partners wish to stay together and learn the lessons.
10. What areas will we work on in marriage counselling?
There are in fact six main areas to consider. These areas are actually closely interconnected. If you’re interested in finding out more, click on the links below:
Building a stronger friendship
Realising your relationship's potential
11. What skills will we learn in marriage counselling?
Emotional regulation, mindful communication, learning to express one’s feelings and needs effectively, perspective taking and empathy - to name a few. These are often skills that aren’t learned anywhere else.
12. Should I go for the eight-week programme you offer or work on an open-ended basis?
This is really a matter of preference. Some couples like the structured approach of a programme with special topic areas to work on each week. The reading material and handouts also serve as an aide memoire, reinforcing the positive new habits learned.
Others would prefer not to be tied down with any kind of format - that’s equally fine.
13. If I’m not sure if I want to be in my relationship, is it still worth trying marriage counselling?
Yes, absolutely. Many people aren’t sure why their relationship isn’t working well and don’t initially know what they want the outcome to be. That’s absolutely fine. The process helps explore and clarify what the future might look like.
14. What do people say about their experience of marriage counselling?
Usually very positive things. People often say it’s life changing. To get an idea of what they say about the benefits, please see the reviews and testimonials.
15. Is there some kind of ‘onboarding’ process before the very first session?
Yes. Each partner is asked to fill out a quick form which seeks to understand their unique perspective and what they would like to achieve from the sessions. It only takes 5-10 minutes and often stimulates discussion.
16. My partner isn’t as keen as me about couples counselling. What should I do?
Obviously, nobody can persuade their partner to attend counselling sessions if they don’t want to.
It’s worth acknowledging that this situation is fairy typical. Finding a way into therapy together is a common challenge for partners who may be in slightly different places to begin with. Understanding why this is the case is part of the process.
If sessions together aren't possible, it can still be beneficial to attend sessions individually if this is the only option for the time being.