Even with emotional regulation and a healthy dose of friendship and appreciation in place, being alert to the effects of language and emotional tone pays dividends. A marriage or long-term relationship largely consists of conversations, and verbal and non-verbal behaviour. We may be unaware of much of our tone and the impact of our words whilst on autopilot. That’s why the feedback in counselling is so important. Work with Chris Langer, experienced marriage and couples counsellor.
Interactions and exchanges with each other can travel in both positive and negative directions – a little bit like the stock market it can depend on the mood we're in! Acknowledging our moods, and remaining mindful of the emotional effect we are potentially having on another human being helps set ourselves up for greater intimacy and connection.
By reflecting on what triggers us in our interactions with other people, we can gain control over our reactions and respond in new ways. By learning the skills of mindful communication, we become more at ease with ourselves and others. Pathways to new conversations are created as old patterns are unlocked.
Learning to communicate effectively and mindfully is part of the process in marriage and couples counselling. Other areas to work on include: